Sunday, September 09, 2007

Protector / Filter. The Shadow

It's been 2 months since I posted anything here, and it is a month since I left Skyote, near Santa Cruz, California, having attended the first annual SoulCollage facilitators' conference, which had been preceded by a 2-day "pre-conference" on the theme of "The Shadow in the World".

I would find it really difficult to try to reproduce what was said on the Shadow. I had arrived thinking I would be looking at my personal shadow (or shadows) - the neters that have gone to an unhealthy or unhelpful extreme, and found instead (or also) that we were considering the idea of shadow-energies in the world-at-large. How do I experience the "3-headed monster" of hatred, greed, war in the world around me? What protects me from those energies, or, as Seena asked, what archetype acts as a filter for me against the external shadow?

We selected some images, and added two randomly-chosen cards from our decks.

The two cards I drew were my Death card and my Anger card.
Death says:
I am one who allows you to experience the shadow in its deepest form. I am your friend. I filter energies and experiences by allowing you to experience NOW, not the future, or the past. I remind you that each moment is a death.

Anger says:
I am one who allows you to express the range of anger as you meet it. I am one who knows there is a time for irritation, annoyance... righteous fury. The shadow-energy of the outside world requires a response. Sometimes the response is anger.
The new image I had chosen was of a group of trees. I had just come from Yosemite, where the wonderful energy of the Redwoods had touched me deeply, and I felt drawn to images of trees. When I came to make a card, however, I found that the images I had selected just wouldn't form the card I wanted to make. Frustrated, I began to leaf through other piles of images, and there was this wonderful tree. There is more to it than just a tree. It called to me to be the image to represent the Filter/Protector in my world.
It says:
I am one who helps you engage the shadow. I hold you safely, I remind you how to stay centred and rooted. I remind you of the many directions in which you can move in that centredness. I offer protection and openness. I remind you of the need to constantly renew your life. Accept change. Expect renewal.
I think I am only beginning to process the entire experience - my travels, my encounters with wildlife (last year, coyote: This year foxes and the great horned owl!), and the conference itself. It was so rich with ideas and experiences, touching so much inner knowing that will take time to surface in cards, in words. I just gathered images and made no other cards there. Today, my kitchen table is strewn with those images, and I begin again to feel the energy of those days. I had thought when I was coming home that I would post an entire conference report, but I think its effects will just filter through here over the coming months, and as I begin to take up workshops again.
I chose to post this here today, to begin to bring myself into that space, of re-experiencing, of attempting to articulate, and share just a little of the experience.

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